Well today comes with bittersweetness. We will be taking our last dose of irinotecan low dose chemotherapy for this part of our journey and in a couple of weeks we will start with ICE....Ifosomide, Carboplatin, and Etoposide. These are three more powerful agents and have the possiblities for more side effects. Two of the agents Westin has seen and has done very well with. I just wish we could have cleaned everything up with the lower dose......but we are at peace with our decision. Well, when I say peace I mean we are not questioning the treatment. Joel and I both agree that Westin's treatment needs to move on and we want to clean this mess up. Westin does not act sick nor does he outwardly seem to have any side effects, but we both feel like he has a time bomb ticking inside of him and we want it deactivated! Our goal all along was to keep what he has at least stable or improved so that we could get on to the antibody study at St Jude. If we clean all of it up then it knocks him out of the antibody and we both feel passionately that we need to give this antibody to Westin. However, we would both like to see some reduction in the cells that are there and we are no seeing that.....so we are uping the treatment with hopes of reducing some for at least a round or two and then heading to Memphis for some Antibody treatment. All of this is just so overwhelming when a parent if faced with such decisions about their child's care. There is no defined path .... no clear set of options and it wrenches at your gut.

We have good friends at St Jude who got good results this week, Noah Burchyzk (www.caringbridge.org/visit/hope4noah) and Sam Farris (www.caringbridge.org/visit/samfarris). Noah was in initial treatment with us and Sam was further behind and has had a relapse. Noah is still clear and Sam's relapse looks better. Sam tried a different option with his relapse and it almost makes us question if we did the right option; however, we have to trust that God is leading us in the right direction. When you put your faith and trust in what you hear God telling you then we must hold on and just keep moving forward. But it is very tough.......

Today will be very bittersweet because I know the next thing that goes in my child's veins can be very harmful and cause so many toxic side effects, but ..... I know that the God that watched over him during the first 18 months of treatment and protected every organ in his body is the same God who is still protecting him. Our faith is not in the medicine but in God. So....we just lay Westin at his feet and give him to the Lord for his protection.

During the next two weeks I ask for your prayers that the Lord will restore Westin's body. Give him back strength that he lost during a recent virus. Restore chemical balances in his body. Revive his marrow and give him all that he needs to walk victoriously through this next leg of the journey. Also, lift us up as this is some the toughest decisions we have ever made and we desire to be following what the Lord is telling us to do.

The pic is from this week in the new St Jude Clinic in Johnson City. It is very very nice and Westin loves the new hospital. Of course he calls it his hospital.....most kids don't even recognize a hospital, but these precious children have learned that it has become a part of their daily life....mixed emotions for us parents.

Have a very blessed day....Julie